When Change Comes Home

A Fathers For Families Reflection

It has taken me some time to write this reflection, because finding the words to farewell someone who has given so much of herself to others carries a weight that is difficult to put on paper. Last week, we gathered for a farewell lunch for Colleen Fakalogotoa, our Chief Executive Officer of Fathers For Families and Family Success Matters, as she steps away to give her health the time and attention it needs.

After 21 years of tireless service to this organisation and its communities, her departure brings sadness, gratitude and a deep appreciation for the responsibility she has carried. While we will feel her absence, we also recognise that the woman who has spent so many years attending to the wellbeing of others deserves our wholehearted support as she attends to her own.

Colleen’s story of service reaches much further back than those 21 years, with her professional biography recording the beginning of her career as a Plunket nurse in 1978. Her work in community health would eventually lead to senior leadership, and by 2005 she was being quoted publicly as Plunket’s General Manager of Operations, speaking about the growing needs of families and the work of nurses responding to them. Across those different roles, the wellbeing of children and their families remained a consistent focus.

In 2005, Colleen helped establish Family Start Manukau, the organisation that later became Family Success Matters, bringing her experience in health and leadership into services supporting families facing significant challenges. Her contribution to its beginnings is an important part of the history we honour today, because building an organisation requires people who are prepared to take responsibility for an idea and remain committed as it becomes practical work in the community.

There is a meaningful record of that work in a speech delivered by Tariana Turia on 2 December 2010, when Family Start Manukau was recognised for achieving Te Wana accreditation. In acknowledging the organisation’s contribution to children and families across Counties Manukau, she specifically commended Colleen’s leadership alongside its kaumatua, board and wider team, recognising the collective effort behind the organisation’s achievements.

That recognition also speaks to the standards Colleen sought to uphold, with her later reflections on Te Wana describing a commitment to credible services, staff participation and continuous improvement. She understood that an organisation serving families needed to keep examining its own practice, listening to people’s experiences and finding ways to make support more responsive and accessible. For those of us continuing this work, that remains a responsibility worth carrying forward.

For Fathers For Families, Colleen holds a particularly meaningful place in our story, because she supported the kaupapa when it was still taking shape within Family Success Matters. Our published account of FFF’s beginnings acknowledges her willingness to invest in work with fathers, recognising that helping men take responsibility and change harmful behaviour was an essential contribution to the safety and wellbeing of their partners, tamariki and whanau.

As someone entrusted with the operational and programme work of Fathers For Families, I am deeply grateful for that early belief and support. The opportunities we have today to walk alongside fathers, challenge harmful patterns and encourage a different legacy exist within a history of people who were willing to help this work begin, and Colleen’s contribution belongs firmly within that history.

When we see a father begin to understand the impact of his behaviour, remain connected to support or make more responsible choices for his children, we are reminded why this kaupapa matters. Those changes require the effort of the men themselves and the commitment of many people around them, while also depending on the foundations laid by those who helped create a place where that work could happen.

One of the most personal insights into Colleen’s values came through the reflection she wrote for Fathers For Families about her own father. She described how his presence, creativity and example shaped her understanding of family, sharing memories that showed how deeply a parent’s everyday actions can influence a child’s life. Her message to our fathers carried the perspective of someone who understood that the example we give our children can reach well beyond one generation.

Reading that reflection again as we farewell her brings a particular warmth, because it allows us to see the person alongside the professional history. Behind the Chief Executive’s responsibilities is a woman with her own family, relationships and experiences, whose understanding of service has been shaped by the people who have mattered in her life.

There are also public stories that reveal the practical care woven through her work, including a 2017 account of Christmas toy donations for families supported by Family Success Matters. Colleen spoke about the relief parents felt when they could give their children something special, recognising both the pressure those parents were under and the difference a thoughtful act of generosity could make. It is a reminder that family wellbeing is expressed through everyday experiences as well as through programmes, plans and organisational achievements.

Last week’s farewell gave us an opportunity to pause and recognise these years of contribution, although a lunch and a few words of thanks could only begin to acknowledge what 21 years of service represent. For me, writing this has meant sitting with the sadness of her departure while also recognising that our gratitude must include supporting her decision to prioritise her health.

Colleen, thank you for the years you have given to Family Success Matters and Fathers For Families, for helping establish foundations that others could build upon, and for supporting a kaupapa that continues to offer fathers an opportunity to take responsibility and create a different future for their whanau. Your contribution will remain part of our history, and we honour it through the care and commitment we bring to the work ahead.

As you give your attention to your health and the people closest to you, our prayer is that you will experience comfort, peace and the support you need throughout this next chapter. We farewell you with heavy hearts and sincere gratitude, hoping that you will know how deeply your years of service are appreciated by those of us who have shared in this journey.

“Hebrews 6:10 reminds us that God remembers the love shown through service, and as we honour Colleen’s 21 years of commitment, we give thanks for her contribution and pray that she will now receive the care, comfort and support she has so generously extended to others.”