OUR TEAM
Eli Tulafono
Operations & Programme Manager
About Me
With over three decades of experience across the service sector; spanning Child Protection and the Family Harm space, I have dedicated my life’s work to restoring whānau wellbeing by empowering fathers to heal, grow, and lead with integrity. This mahi is grounded not only in professional practice, but in lived experience, hard lessons, and an ongoing commitment to personal transformation.
My journey marked by hardship, accountability, faith, and growth, has shaped both who I am and how I lead. It has also directly informed the design of our 14-week intervention framework, which is intentionally framed and shaped by my own life experiences, mistakes, learnings, and restoration. The programme reflects the realities men face not theory alone, offering a pathway that is honest, practical, culturally grounded, and achievable.
I don’t come with perfection, only humility, responsibility, and a willingness to keep learning alongside the men I serve.
Leadership Through Lived Experience
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside diverse communities, frontline practitioners, and whanau navigating complex realities. Today, I lead a team of remarkable men, many of whom are graduates of our intervention programmes, each committed to walking with others on their own pathways to restoration.
Together, we foster accountability, healing, and cultural reconnection. Our work is strengthened by the fact that many of our facilitators are not removed from the journey, they have lived it, continue to live it, and lead with integrity because of it.
Our approach is grounded in Tuakana–Teina values, honouring lived experience while intentionally growing future leaders. Through our Train-the-Trainer strategy, we build internal capacity and ensure our kaupapa remains authentic, sustainable, and scalable, led by men who have done the work, not just studied it.
The Work Begins at Home
Beyond the professional space, I am first and foremost a husband, a father of ten adult children my youngest now 18 and a proud grandfather to eleven mokopuna. My wife and I share a story that, like many, was not smooth in its earlier years. We have navigated storms, faced uncomfortable truths, and grown through seasons that required patience, humility, and intentional love.
There’s a saying I often return to:
“Sometimes love is tending the rose garden, not just admiring the bloom.”
Fatherhood and partnership are shaped in seasons of work, care, and perseverance, not just moments of beauty. These lessons live at the heart of both my family life and the way our 14-week framework is structured: step by step, honest, and grounded in reality.
Let’s Work Together
Whether you’re a professional seeking collaboration, a father ready to begin or continue your journey of self-discovery, or a community leader strengthening local whanau responses, there is a place for you in this mahi.
This work is not about perfection. It is about showing up, staying accountable, and remaining teachable.
Let’s connect and co-create a future where families thrive—and where men stand tall in their responsibility with love, strength, courage, and humility.
James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to Listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry
Monty Valivaka
Pepeha
Ko Rāmaroa te Maunga
Ko Hokianga te Moana
Ko Ngātokimatawhaorua te Waka
Ko Ngāpuhi te Iwi
Ko Ngāti Koro te Hapū
Ko Pākanae te Marae
Ko Meljane rāua ko John Valivaka ōku mātua
Ko Monty Valivaka tōku ingoa
Professional Profile
I am proudly Maori and Niuean, raised in the heart of South Auckland—a place that has shaped not only who I am, but how I serve. My whakapapa connects me to the whenua of Te Tai Tokerau and the ancestral strength of my Niuean heritage. I carry both lineages with pride and responsibility, weaving together cultural values that underpin every part of my journey.
Over the years, I have cultivated deep and meaningful relationships across the community. My life’s work is grounded in service—serving people, whanau, and communities through connection, compassion, and integrity. I am deeply committed to walking alongside others in their healing and transformation, offering not just tools and support, but genuine care and cultural safety.
Whanau and Personal Values
As a devoted husband and father, my whanau is at the core of my purpose. They are my motivation, my grounding force, and my reminder of what truly matters. The values I strive to live by—alofa, manaakitanga, tautua, and whanaungatanga—are not just words, but actions that shape the way I lead, support, and uplift others.
I believe transformation happens through trust, and trust is built through presence, humility, and consistency. Whether in one-on-one mentoring, group facilitation, or community engagement, I bring a relational and culturally anchored approach that honours each person’s story and potential.
Community Work and Leadership
With years of experience supporting men, rangatahi, and whanau through life’s toughest seasons, I have developed a reputation for being both streetwise and heart-led. I bring a calm strength and a steady presence into spaces that often require courage, truth-telling, and accountability.
My work is guided by the belief that true change begins with connection—when a person feels seen, heard, and valued. I have a passion for helping fathers reclaim their place within the whānau, not as distant figures, but as present, loving leaders who break cycles and build legacies.
Senior Facilitator
FATHERS FOR FAMILIES VOLUNTEERS
FFF - COMMUNITY MENTOR:
MATENI LYNCH
Lead Community Mentor - Facilitator
I am a father on a healing journey — a living reminder that no matter how far we fall, redemption is always within reach. I walk in compassion, faith, and purpose, standing beside men who carry the same scars I once did, helping them turn pain into purpose.
My story with Fathers For Families (FFF) began in 2024, sitting in the 10-week programme that first cracked open the walls I’d built around myself. It was the start of something new — not just a course, but a call to transformation.
In 2025, I joined the new 14-week kaupapa, this time not as a participant but as a student of life again. Term 1 gave me insight into a framework that mirrored my own journey — one that honoured wairua, identity, and restoration.
By Term 2, I was stepping forward as a Co-Facilitator, learning to connect my story with the lessons, bringing light into spaces where shame once lived.
By Term 3, I had graduated as a Facilitator — guiding others, mentoring co-facilitators, and leading discussions that reached deep into the hearts of men ready to change.
I am a father of two, grounded by the unwavering love of a whanau who refused to give up on me during my lost years. Their faith became the spark that lit my own.
Those years — tangled in gangs, violence, crime, drugs, and prison — once defined my name. But today, I see them as chapters that had to be written before purpose could take its place. What the enemy meant for destruction, God used to shape my calling.
Change is not reserved for the few — it’s the birthright of every man who’s willing to rise again. My transformation is a testimony that freedom is possible, healing is real, and faith still moves mountains.
Every session I lead, every father I walk beside, reminds me why I’m here: to give back what was freely given — hope.
“But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto thee.”
– Matthew 6:33
About me
our FACILITATOR:
Sionatane Lea`aemanu
MY STORY - From Cycles of Harm to a Life of Purpose, Leadership & Legacy
I spent far too many years inside the justice system — caught in a world of gangs, crime, and destructive thinking. It was an environment built on broken spirits and unhealthy ideals, and I adapted to it completely. Every offence pulled me deeper. Every nod of approval from criminal peers locked me further into a life I thought I’d never escape.
That lifestyle cost me dearly.
It damaged my relationships, broke trust with the people who loved me, and pushed me into cycles of trauma, denial, and self-sabotage. Even with a supportive family, even with children, even with a loving partner — nothing changed until I accepted that I was the one who had to choose a different path.
Facing long stretches in prison finally forced me to confront myself. I began questioning everything: my choices, my patterns, my reasoning. A quiet knowing — something I used to see as weakness — started to grow inside me. I wanted to change, but I didn’t know how.
THE TURNING POINT
When I walked into Fathers For Families after my last release, I had no plan. No idea where to start. But I did have one commitment. Show up. Keep showing up.And that simple decision became the doorway to transformation.THE TRANSFORMATION
Through FFF’s programme — the old and the new strengthened version — I learned to face my trauma, break harmful thinking, and rebuild myself from the inside out. I discovered what healthy masculinity looks like, what accountability actually means, and how to restore relationships instead of destroy them.My wife and children remained faithful through my journey. Their support grounded me while I learned to show up as a Man, a Husband/Partner, and a Father. Their belief in me helped me become the man I am today.THE RISE INTO LEADERSHIP
I didn’t just complete the programme — I walked the whole pathway:Completed both versions of FFF - Graduated Leadership to Employment - Became a co-facilitator - Grew into a mentorNow lead my own cohorts as a Lead Facilitator, supporting other men walking the path I once crawled through
I am living proof that change is possible — no matter how far you’ve fallen or how deep the patterns run.THE FUTUREI’ve committed myself to Fathers For Families and to the kaupapa that rebuilt my life. I’m here to serve, lead, and help other men rise.TO ANY MAN WHO FEELS STUCKIf you think you’re too far gone — you’re not - If you think change is impossible — it isn’t - if you’re willing to step through the door, FFF will walk with you.Lead Facilitator - Mentor
our HEALTH & WELLBEING coach:
Malolelei
NZ Tongan Born | Raised in Australia | Father | Mentor | Health & Well-Being Coach
I was born in Aotearoa to Tongan parents and raised in Australia, where my life was full of potential. For years, things were bright — grounded in family, culture, rugby league, and community. I spent nearly a decade coaching and mentoring young players from ages 6 to 19, and that space became one of the happiest and safest parts of my life.
But as life shifted, I found myself spiralling into darker places. The foundations I thought I had began to crack, and I slipped into patterns that hurt not only me, but the people I loved most. Being a partner and a father — roles that should have been my highest priority — were pushed into the shadows.
THE TURNING POINT
In February 2025, I walked into Fathers For Families as a participant.
I won’t sugar-coat it — at the time, I was only there to fill a Court requirement.
But everything changed in one lesson.
That first session opened my eyes to things I had ignored for years — my triggers, my trauma, my spiralling patterns, and the emotional noise I had been carrying alone. Questions I had never been able to answer suddenly had clarity.
Even then, trust was a struggle. I’d had mine broken too many times. But I stayed.
Something in me knew I needed this change — not just for me, but for my two beautiful children. My healing became part of the legacy I want to leave them.
THE TRANSFORMATION
As I continued through the programme, I began catching myself - Owning my faults - Understanding my reactions - Breaking the cycles that once controlled me.
The FFF team supported me with honesty, accountability, and genuine belief. That allowed me to step into spaces I once avoided — including leadership. By Term 2, I had progressed from participant to co-facilitator. That shift alone taught me that transformation isn’t just possible — it’s powerful.
THE WORK I DO NOW
Today, I stand confidently as FFF’s Health & Wellbeing Coach and Facilitator, bringing my years of rugby league coaching into a new purpose. The gym, the field, and our Walk-the-Talk sessions have become spaces where I help men reconnect with discipline, brotherhood, healing, and emotional strength. With a new mindset, I’m not afraid of the old triggers that used to control me. Instead, I meet men where they’re at — because I’ve stood where they stand.
THE QUOTE I LIVE BY
“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”
I carry that line everywhere — into every class, every gym session, every walk, and every conversation I lead.
MY JOURNEY CONTINUES
My life now is a spiritual and healing walk. I’m becoming a better man, a better partner, and a better father — one step at a time. And I’m committed to helping other men find the courage to do the same.
Lead Health & Wellbeing Coach & Facilitator