Crossing the Threshold – Choosing a New Life
The Challenge to Self
Crossing a threshold is never casual. It is a call to courage and clarity, a point where a man must confront what he has carried with him for years. Many men arrive carrying violence, addictions, shame, or the weight of negative stereotypes that have shaped their story. At the threshold, the challenge is clear: these things can no longer define me if I am to move forward. For some, this is the wero — the challenge — to leave behind the “current me.”
That self may have been shaped by trauma, hardened by survival, or trapped by cycles of anger and harm. Standing at the threshold asks a man to pause and admit: If I cross, I cannot keep carrying the same baggage. This is not a simple decision. It is a separation, the beginning of a new identity. To cross over, a man must wrestle with the question: Who am I? Who am I outside with friends and workmates? Who am I at home, with my partner and children? Who am I when I am alone, with no one watching? The threshold brings these identities into the light. And like all sacred moments, there is a point of no return. To cross is to commit. Once a man steps over, retreating back into the old life becomes harder, because he has declared — to himself, his whānau, and to God — that change is possible.
Entering New Ground
But thresholds are not just about leaving the past; they are also about entering into new ground. In the Bible, to cross a threshold often meant covenant — an agreement, a new beginning, a promise sealed in action.
For a man entering Fathers For Families, this is exactly what it means:
A covenant of change — choosing to rebuild on a foundation of faith, integrity, and accountability.
A safe ground to stand — a place shaped by kaupapa Māori, Pasifika values, and biblical principles, where men are not condemned for their past but are called into their future.
A restored dignity — as a father, a partner, a son, a leader.
This step is never taken lightly. It requires preparation of heart and mind. Just as Israel was told to prepare before stepping into the promised land, so too a father prepares himself before crossing into a new chapter. It is a step not just of behaviour, but of identity.
Courage and Faith
Crossing a threshold is also an act of courage. It asks a man to leave behind what is familiar, even if destructive, and trust that something greater lies ahead. The Fathers For Families pathway provides that ground of trust. A man does not step into the unknown alone; he steps into a community, guided by mentors and brothers who have made the same crossing. He steps into a space where accountability is not punishment, but support; where challenges are not walls but stepping stones. To cross the threshold is to say: I trust that my future is more secure than my past. I trust that my children deserve a better legacy than the one I inherited. I trust that God can rebuild what I have broken.
Fathers For Families – Standing on the Other Side
This is where our kaupapa lives. Fathers For Families stands as the house on the other side of the threshold, where our Heavenly Father called us to build. The 14-week - Te Ara Poutama o te Matua Mārama programme, the alumni network, the health and wellbeing space & our social workers streams — these are the walls, the foundation, and the roof that help men not only step into a new life but remain there.
Here, the covenant becomes lived reality:
Men are given tools to rebuild trust with partners and children.
They are equipped with knowledge to handle anger, trauma, and conflict differently.
They are surrounded by brothers who remind them that relapse into old ways is not inevitable, that there is another path.
They are invited into legacy — to move from participant to co-facilitator, from brokenness to leadership, from isolation to whanau restoration.
Crossing the threshold into FFF is not the end of the story, but the beginning of one. It is the moment when “the current me” is left at the doorway, and the man steps forward with courage, faith, and dignity to build something new.
Mauri Ora……