MARCH: Nine Years of Transformation: The JOURNEY of Fathers For Families
Tena koutou,
As Fathers For Families (FFF) marks its ninth year of operation, we pause to reflect on a journey of growth, restoration, and relentless hope. What began as a small-scale response to the destructive impacts of family violence has matured into a deeply transformative movement — one grounded in cultural identity, faith, accountability, and the healing power of connection.
Across nearly a decade, we’ve supported hundreds of tane as they’ve taken the courageous steps to break cycles, heal wounds, and rebuild trust — not just within their whanau, but within themselves.
Honouring the Whanau of the Sector:
Before sharing our own haerenga, we want to acknowledge the wider family violence sector across Aotearoa. To every organisation, facilitator, kaimahi, and survivor walking this road — we see you.
This is difficult, emotional, and often unseen mahi. Yet the collective commitment across the motu to supporting whanau through violence, trauma, and intergenerational harm is something we honour deeply. Fathers For Families extends a heartfelt mihi to every kaupapa, every Roopu, and every person on this journey. May we continue to uplift, learn from, and support one another in this shared mission.
The Early Seeds – A Risk Worth Taking:
Every movement begins with a leap of faith.
For FFF, that leap came from Colleen Fakalogotoa, who, under the Family Start contract at Family Success Matters (FSM), made a bold decision to invest in this kaupapa. Colleen recognised that while support for tamariki and mama was vital, the transformation of tane was just as essential in breaking the cycle of violence.
It was Colleen’s courage to back a kaupapa still in its infancy — one that spoke to healing through culture, faith, and accountability — that created the fertile soil for FFF to grow. We honour her leadership, her belief, and her willingness to stand for something different.
The Unsung Heroes – Our Board Members:
No kaupapa thrives without solid foundations — and our Board Members, past and present, have been the pou that have held us steady through every season.
These incredible individuals have given their time, wisdom, governance, and unwavering support behind the scenes. They’ve navigated complex systems, upheld cultural integrity, supported strategic direction, and ensured our kaupapa always stayed focused on impact and safety.
To our Board — thank you for believing in this work when it wasn’t easy. Thank you for every hard conversation, every long meeting, and every decision made with heart. Your legacy is deeply embedded into the story of Fathers For Families.
The Frontline – Our Kaimahi, Past and Present:
We would not be here without the dedication, passion, and resilience of every single kaimahi — past and present; in-particular Monty Valivaka & George Prescott — who stood on the frontline with our tane and their whanau.
From facilitators to support workers, admin teams to outreach specialists — you are the heartbeat of this movement. You’ve held space in the darkest moments, carried hope where there was none, and stood for the potential of tane long before the world saw it. You’ve led with aroha, conviction, and grace.
To every worker who gave their time, their wairua, their weekends, and their heart to this kaupapa — we honour you. You are part of the legacy of change.
Our Team Leaders – The Steady Hands of Practice:
We also want to acknowledge the powerful contribution of our Supervisors — the ones who guided our practice, challenged our thinking, and kept the integrity of our mahi intact.
Dave Ringrose (2016–2022): Dave was instrumental in our early years, bringing a strong clinical lens, quiet wisdom, and a deep belief in the potential of tane. His influence helped us shape a programme that was both safe and transformational.
William Pua (2022–2023): William built upon that foundation, bringing with him rich life experience, cultural insight, and a compassionate approach to supervision that allowed us to evolve with the growing complexities our men were facing. His leadership during this transitional phase helped us align more closely with the changing societal landscape.
These two men have left a lasting imprint on FFF — their support and care continue to echo through our team programme.
The Evolution – From 10 Weeks to a 14-Week Movement:
Thanks to Government funding for the first time in our history, Fathers For Families has now expanded into a 14-week Family Violence Intervention Programme. This evolution reflects not just growth in size — but in depth, responsiveness, and cultural relevance.
In today’s complex society, many of the men we support are facing multiple layers of trauma, systemic disconnection, emotional suppression, and broken identity. Our 14-week journey meets these men where they are and gently walks them toward who they can become.
Our kaupapa is deeply rooted in four interconnected frameworks:
Te Tiriti o Waitangi – our foundation of partnership, protection, and participation.
Te Huringa o Te Ao – recognising societal change and cultural renaissance.
Te Aorerekura – aligning with the national strategy to eliminate family and sexual violence.
The Biblical Fruit of the Spirit – guiding us through love, patience, kindness, and self-control.
At the heart of this kaupapa is a Whakapakari Tane approach — strengthening our men not just to be accountable, but to be restored. We create space for tane to reflect, confront, and transform their narratives — moving from a mindset of survival and control to one of maturity, humility, and healing.
We believe tane can stand again — not in dominance, but in dignity. Not in fear, but in freedom.
A Living Framework – Tikanga, Wananga, and Whole-Person Change:
The FFF wananga space has evolved to become a whare of deep transformation. Across three key identity roles — For the Man, For the Husband, For the Father — we help men reconnect to their whakapapa, name their pain, and rewrite the story they tell themselves.
This is not just cognitive — it’s holistic. Our programme incorporates:
Marae-based intensives (wananga)
One-on-one wraparound support
Group therapy and peer-led discussions (Champion Fathers)
Our Health & Wellbeing Programme (bush walks, physical training, spiritual alignment)
Tools like the SCI Mindset System and Empowerment Triangle, giving tane real-time tools to de-escalate and respond to triggers.
We also now deliver:
Te Ara Whakamua (6-week prevention stream) – early intervention, community-led change & employment pathways
Te Ara Rangatira (Leadership phase) – transitioning tane into mentors and leaders.
This isn’t just about behaviour change — it’s identity restoration.
Looking Ahead – He Waka Eke Noa:
Nine years on, our mission remains the same: to raise conscious, connected, courageous tane who restore the wellbeing of their whanau and communities.
This mahi is not simple. It’s confronting, often painful. But in the tears, the confessions, the breakthroughs, and the quiet moments of insight — we see change. We see men return to their whanau with open hearts. We see fathers taking responsibility. We see husbands learning to love without control. We see leaders emerging.
To every tane who has stepped into the fire of transformation: kei te mihi, kei te mihi, kei te mihi.
To every kaimahi, supervisor, board member, whanau member, and funder who has supported this kaupapa: this is your legacy too.
And to the next generation — the fathers, sons, and brothers yet to walk through our doors —
we are here. And we believe in you.
Fathers For Families:
Healing generations, one courageous step at a time.